Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Dear China

First of all, I would personally like to thank you for your proactive stance on swine flu. It is wonderful to see a rising superpower taking on a potential pandemic by quarantining passengers who may have been exposed to this disease. If only all countries ruled their populace and visitors with such an iron fist!

Secondly, and more importantly, thank you for taking the Mayor of New Orleans, C. Ray Nagin. As far as I am concerned, you can keep him. He's probably doing the city of New Orleans more good being stuck in quarantine over there with you. At least he and his cronies can't continue to undermine the recovery of our fair city while he's away. His inability to be confrontational with local news reporters and others seeking information is needed here. As long as you have him, things can get done over here. Thank you for that.

I would like to add that you may need to dig a little deeper. He may have some other diseases or sociopathic issues that can only be discovered by deep anal probing. Since you guys already have him isolated, I feel this would and could be a great opportunity to remove whatever bug is up his ass. Please consider this sincere request.

Again, China, thank you for helping us out. Have you ever met George W. Bush? We would like him probed, too. I don't think he has any diseases unless you consider being an asshole a disease! (Haha!) But still, do you think you can pull this one off? Let me know.



PS - I just heard that you released Mr. Nagin from quarantine. I sure hope you got that probe in!

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